Pride vs. Blessings

Pride. It's kind of an ugly word, isn't it? The first definition of pride on dictionary.com is:

1. a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
   

But what got me more, were the words synonymous with pride. Ego, self-regard, haughtiness, insolence, or (the one that gets me most) lordliness.
In my Life Group (what we call our Sunday school) class, we have been studying different topics & we've been using Proverbs for our Biblical references. When we are discussing poor attributes (i.e. anger) and reading scripture on how to correctly respond in situations, we very often come back to the same reason for them; Pride. It somehow all comes back to our pride.
I know this isn't a new thing. I know we've all realized it before. I know that people struggle with this all the time. I know that I struggle with pride all the time. It's that big thing that I keep "learning". I use the quotes because every time I think I learned my lesson, I just keep falling on my face again…
This week something different happened. I'll start with a mini-recap; my best friend and I have talked on and off for a while now about blessings, about how God wants to bless His children. I looked it up on an online concordance, and the word 'bless' (included blessing and blessed) was mentioned 522 times. WOW!!! Let me say it again… 522!!! That's a lot of talk about someone being blessed. So why is it that we so often don't feel like we will be… or in my case, why do I try to block them? It really doesn't make much sense, does it?
I recently planned a trip with a friend. We were going to go this weekend to St. Louis so she could see friends of hers and I could spend time with my best friend. Well, my friend's daughter (who has 3 small kids) slipped on a small rubber ball her 1 ½ year old threw towards her and broke her ankle. After I heard this, I tried and tried to figure out a way to make my car make the trip, but knew that it couldn't. So, I figured no trip. I thought that I wasn't able to make it after all, and I would just have to wait until July to see F.
But then I got an e-mail. My friend I was supposed to travel with wanted to rent me a car so I could still go. Amazing, right? A normal human being would probably think so. But me, I completely balked. No way. I was shaking my head and talking to myself while I read the e-mail (which she said I'd do in the e-mail. HA) and thinking there was no way I could accept such a gift from someone. It's a huge gift. It's a lot of money. No way! But then I thought about something… why would I say no? After praying and talking to a couple of friends I realized something…
My pride wanted me to say no. Was I going to listen to my pride and tell this friend no, or did I allow God to bless me through her? Ultimately my friend was blessing me by giving me a way to fellowship with my best friend. Someone who (as I like to say) knows me better then I know myself. And how amazing is it when you are able to be the one that God uses to bless someone else. It's like I was not only blocking a blessing to me, but one to my friend as well.
Are you allowing pride to block blessings? Because if you are, remind yourself of what the Lord told Moses to tell the Israelites (His people!) in Numbers 6:24-26:

"The LORD bless you
and keep you;

the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;

the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."

Apologies

Dear Blog Readers,

I am writing this note to explain why I haven't followed through with my Holy Week blogging. Some of you live here in Murfreesboro with me and to you, I know you need no explanation. But I know there are some who read this from elsewhere. This blog is for you.

This town that I live in and love... well... it is a disaster area. Not federally, yet, but none the less it is. On Friday 4/10 there were multiple tornado's (2 registering at a Category 3or 4) that killed a 23 year old mother and her 9 week old daughter, damaged at least 140 homes, completely destroyed 40 homes and devastated our community.

If you want to read more about the situation, let me direct you to our local paper the DNJ.

I also covet your prayers for my community as the pieces start getting picked up and put back together...

Much Love,

LLSG

Holy Week

I suppose I'm a little late in writing this, but I've been thinking a lot today about Easter being Sunday and the Holy week services I'll be going to beforehand and I realized something. Whenever I'm asked what my favorite holiday is, I always say its Thanksgiving. I think it's because it's a holiday that doesn't revolve around presents but does include a lot of my family! Yes, I am kind of a bah humbug… not that it stops me from buying presents... hehe =o)

What I've really realized this week is that I think Easter is actually my favorite holiday. I'm not really a fan of the Easter Bunny making an appearance at church, but I really love that it's such a celebration that really allows us to see what Christ really did for us when He died for us and was raised again conquering death to save us from our sin, and give us eternal life!!! What a blessing in my life and I know many other… and I'm praying it is for all of you out there in blog-land. I hope and pray for you, that you truly know the reason for this holiday.

Dreams

Lately, I keep having these dreams that I have money… that kind of money where you don't have to worry about paying for things… and I don't work at all, because I don't have to, instead I do all kinds of short term missions trips. Like 2 weeks here, 3 months there… kind of just following whatever path that I feel led on.

I'm not saying this is something I feel God is telling me to do, because I don't feel that it is. I've never felt the call to be a missionary other then on the mission field that is the city I live in/my place of employment/my neighborhood. And trust me; God is really speaking to me, lately, on the fact that I am a witness for Him no matter where I am, and that I need to be bold for Him no matter who I am around. Not an easy thing for me. I mean, I know I'm kind of loud and outspoken, but somehow I become timid when it comes to my faith. (I'm trying to remember 2 Timothy 1:7)

But at the same time, wouldn't my dreams becoming reality be cool? To have the money to afford to, in a sense, become a wanderer for Christ? To be able to buy your own health insurance and not have to have a job so that when you felt the Lord calling you to go somewhere for Him, you just could? And while you were home you'd be able to serve in other capacities, or let's be honest, hang with family and friends… But ultimately, you had nothing to leave behind that you had to be doing (i.e. JOBS!), and you didn't have to ask people for any kind of support other than prayer support...

To be honest, there are a lot of things I would rather do then work at a bank (*sshhhh* don't tell my boss!). I did a whole blog previously on what I would do if I ever won the lottery… which I don't play… and some of it was selfish, but some of it wasn't. I sometimes think that I have a wandering spirit, the desire to see new places and meet new people. To be able to travel the world on a whim and desire to see as much as I can; to meet all kinds of people and experience different cultures. Unfortunately I'm in debt, have to work a job to pay it off (I'm getting there), pay my rent, utilities; put gas in my car, etc…

I guess that, at least for a while, I'll have to live within my dreams…