My Heart Aches

I don't talk about adoption a lot here... I know I've mentioned it a few times here and there over the last couple of years, but adoption is something that God has given me a heart for.

For children that will be adopted and their families who can't wait to be together with them and for the people that will support those families (weather financially or prayerfully or however).

Today my heart aches. I woke up to read the news that Russian President Vladimir Putin has signed a bill into law that bans American families from adopting from Russia. I can't imagine the pain and the hurt that families are feeling, especially the families that have already met their sons and daughters and may not be able to bring them home. Sitting here typing this I am crying for them... and for those babies and children that are in those overcrowded orphanages...

I am only comforted by the fact that in all of this God will shine through. He protects the fatherless. He is over all and He will prevail. He will never leave us.

I have no more words..............

Merry Christmas!

I'm working on Christmas blog posts, although I'm thinking about doing them for the traditional 12 Days of Christmas and that doesn't actually start until Christmas... maybe not... we'll see =o)

I also have some real things on my mind and I want to get them out there. I want to see what could happen with these thoughts...

You see, for some reason I'm feeling very pulled towards outward thinking. About people who need more than I do. I know that I've been referred to as a bit of a "bah humbug" when I say that I don't really want presents, but I don't really always feel like I need "things". I find myself more and more giving things away to Goodwill (although I'm thinking I might start using Salvation Army instead very soon...) and wanting to donate and give things to people who need them more than I do.

I suppose part of it is thinking more globally... Friends and I are making gifts for each other, but if we weren't I probably would have donated to an organization like Heifer International in their names... For others, my favorite place to shop is a store called Philanthropy, at least 10% of their profits (generally more) go back to organizations in TN and around the world; they also sell some products made my people in the Sudan or elsewhere to help them make a living.

I don't know what to do with this desire I have... I'm talking to a friend about having "parties", although really just get togethers with friends to raise money or canned goods or......... something.............

All that being said... I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. That you enjoy celebrating the birth of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the new life I have and that He gives me the desire to help others and bring them this wonderful news of eternity.

Pray for me... I think there's going to be a lot going on for me in 2013... 

Thanksgiving

I have no list this year... I didn't think about it long enough or soon enough.

I'm thankful for God and for my new church and dear friends... but this year I'm most thankful for getting to spend Thanksgiving with my parents!

Every other year my parents come to TN for Thanksgiving to see me and we cook and eat and stuff, but it's not about food.. it's about time spent with my parents. It's about hugs and laughter and helping them figure out things on their iPad; it's about playing Gin Rummy and Pinochle (competitively) and taking walks... but mostly it's about time.

I love my parents and I love that they love me so much they come here so I'm not without family every Thanksgiving.

I hope that you, blogging friends, are equally as blessed as I am.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sometimes I Wish

... I was home in Chicago
... I could hug my parents whenever I wanted
... I could be at all of my niece and nephews birthday parties
... I could read the kiddos stories instead of sending books with my recorded voice
... hair could grow long one day and be short the next
... I could have girls days with my SIL's
... weight would just drop off instead of being hard work
... I could pull all-nighters like I used to (not it takes days to get back to normal)
... I could hang out with the guys more than a couple of times a year
... I could get together time and monies to go to Iowa to visit my BF and her hubby and soon to be 2 kids

But I'm also thankful that my life isn't perfect, that I'm not all smiles and happiness all the time. That I have to fight for want I want of need or love. Because all of that together causes me to rely on God. I look to Him when I'm lonely and bummed, when I'm wishing to be home...

I know that God is not physically here, but I've definitely felt His arms around me.

I'm so thankful for the hard times.

Election

Today is Election Day in America. 2012. I hope you're informed. I hope you vote. I don't care who you vote for, but I hope you care. More importantly, I hope you're praying for whomever it is that ends up as the head of this country.

I normally spend the evening of the election glued to the tv watching pundits and color commentary about what is happening. I remember 8 years ago staying up until about 3 am waiting to see the outcome... maybe I'll so that tonight too... but I'll start much later than I usually do... my friend R and I are going to the Restored Theatre in Downtown Franklin, TN to watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Frank Capra directing Jimmy Stewart (the same duo from It's a Wonderful Life) I'll tell you one thing... If Mr. Jefferson Smith was alive and running for office today, he'd have my vote.

Eight

Eight years and three presidential elections. That's how long I've been in TN. In that time, there are a few things that stand out.

1. I find myself having a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I see updates in social media. I'm glad you feel the way you do; I'm glad you've made intelligent reasoning behind your decision. I just wish you were less of a jerk when presenting your decision to the rest of the world. People's emotions are tied way too strongly to this election. Name calling is even more than 4 years ago and I wish I could hide under a rock until it was over. As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for the Frankenstorm I would be avoiding social networking sites altogether.

2. Voting is important! I've felt this way since before I could vote thanks to my favorite Social Studies teacher from Middle School. I still remember going to the election polling area in our school and learning about the process; and having a faux private poll in our class for president (Bill Clinton vs. George HW Bush vs. Ross Perot).

Since then and since I moved to TN, I've been to Boston and Faneuil Hall. There women met and had meetings and fought so I can vote. Somehow sitting in the same seats as those wonderful women of my history made the fact that I can vote become the fact that I should and will vote. Its a right that I wouldn't have had less than 100 years ago.

3. Everyone is early voting this year. I hope that means even more people are voting and I hope even more that those voting are informed about their choices. Since moving to TN, I have never waited more than 5 minutes in a polling line until Tuesday morning when I early voted. I thought I was good giving myself an extra 20 minutes to vote before work… I was 10 minutes late getting there (& I work 2 minutes from our election commission).

All that being said, the pastor of my former church blogged about His Presidential Predictions and I couldn't agree more. God already knows who will win the election and has since before the beginning of time. My trust is in Him & I pray even now for whomever will be in this place of authority in this country.

I Struggle

I struggle with how honest I can be here. How much I can share. How much I might hurt someone's feelings or make them angry or upset... What's the rule? Where's the line?

When do I stop trying to make people happy?

I feel like I've upset several people over the last month and my God-serving self is at war with my Humanity-serving self.

Do what the Holy Spirit is leading you to do, but don't upset anyone else while you're doing it.

Keep it quiet.

sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

They might get upset.....

Even now I'm fighting my desire to delete every single thing I've written so far. Maybe I won't even post this. Maybe I will........... *sigh*

I have struggled at my church for a while now... like a couple of years, not a couple of weeks... and due to some circumstances, I spent a few weekd focusing on God's will in my life fasting and praying and trying to seek His leading for my life.

I'm leaving that church. I've known for a couple of months, but wanted to be able to share with others so that no one found out here. It has nothing to do with anyone specifically, it's the Holy Spirit leading. At first I had no idea where I would go or where my future would be, but I learned more and more about the Harvest Nashville church plant. Harvest is the church I went to in the Chicagoland area and I'm blessed to say I'm a part of this core group of people launching in Nashville.

God is doing so much and desiring much for Nashville, it's almost palpable!! The more I'm able to be involved and the more I contribute, the more excited I get!

I apologize for hurt feelings, or anything taken other than intended, but I refuse to apologize for following the will of God in my life.