I’m Going to a Conference in April.

I thought that was a catchy title… or not… really it’s just a true statement and better than "I Freaked Out and Had a Panic Attack Last Night". Right? It sounds better, doesn’t it?

Yeah, I thought so too…

What? You’re concerned about the panic attack? It’s ok. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed about things and so when I get a little mentally depleted or weak (i.e. bedtime) I think satan likes to take little jabs and get me all worked up. So I prayed for a while and took a lot of deep breaths and eventually I fell into a not-so-great sleep… but I slept and that was good! There was a point that I thought I would be up all night and at some point my prayers were a little crazy looking back; but God knows my heart and what I was meaning (SO glad for that!)  =o)

But anyways, I’m going to a conference in April.

I’m looking forward to it… a lot… especially with all that is going on in the weeks in between… I had a photo shoot for a coworker/friend this past weekend so I’m trying to get photos edited for her by this weekend because I’m second shooting for a wedding (kind of nervous) this weekend and I’ll have those to edit. And then my awesome parents will be in town for a weekend and then I’ll have another wedding shower/girls night out to throw (so fun!) and then a wedding on April 9^th.

And Then I’ll be going to a conference (the next week after that) in April.

It’s a conference for The Gospel Coalition and this year it is taking place in Chicago which means I’ll go and spend some time with my family after the conference quite probably celebrating ‘Early Easter’ which will be my first ‘Easter’ at home since March of ’08 when my former roommate A and I celebrated ‘Early Easter’ with my family. I’m pretty sure that there was only 1 small niece and 1 small nephew at that point. Now there is 1 young niece and 3 young/small nephews! And there is an Easter egg  hunt. =oD

But back to the conference I’m going to in April…

I’m excited. And I’m somehow nervous. And almost a little anxious. I feel like I’m not quite spiritually ready (are we really ever?) to go and part of that is because I feel like I’m getting beat up. Like I’m not trusting enough or trying enough or doing enough; but one of the hardest things for me to remind myself is that it’s really not about me. Or me taking the lead, or my trying or my doing… it is about me trusting. But really just trusting that God is leading and He is doing it perfectly. That God is guiding and better than a scout. That God is allowing me to do, and do more than I ever could on my own. Oh, I know that it’s still about my living my life for Him and reading my Bible and spending time with God to build a relationship. Because that’s what we have. A relationship.

So here I go again, about my daily life; getting to spend time with God and allowing Him to mold me more and more.

And looking forward to the conference in April.