Missing Them

I called home on Thursday.

On Thanksgiving.

I talked to my family… to my mom, dad, brothers (B and K)… to my SIL S and to my niece C…

I made it through talking to S, my dad and C… I held on as best I could while talking to B and struggled as I talked to K… but hearing my brothers talking about my each other's kids, well, it kind of broke my heart.

I want to be there. Home. At least for the holidays. I want to be there for Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want to be there for my niece and nephew's birthday parties. I want to be there for dance recitals and future little league games. I want to be able to babysit for them and to be able to get to know them. I don't like being the aunt they see two or three times a year. I want to be in their lives.

Needless to say my mom heard them in my voice. The tears that threatened to spill. The tears that threaten to spill now as I'm typing this out.

I love Tennessee.

But sometimes it stinks.

Even When I’m Not

Confession: I don't always love my job.

I don't think of it as a big secret… I don't think I know anyone that loves their job all the time. Do you? I think we all get frustrated and annoyed sometimes.

But I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful that I have a place to come to where I can be annoyed! Especially now, this economy. I'm so thankful that I have a job. And it's a job that allows me to not only pay my bills, but also to pay off my debt. A job where I have made great friends. A job where I have a boss that really cares. A job that is run by a Godly man who truly cares about his employees.

There are worse places to work…

Like retail on Black Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving: 2009

It's Thanksgiving!! Are you surprised? I'm thinking not since I've been blogging about it all week! So here it is, blog friends. The 'List of Thankfulness" for 2009, in no particular order... You're excited, I can feel it! Haha

• God's sovereignty 
• The blessing of Godly parents who trust God (and trust that their daughter trusts Him, too!) 
• 2 brothers that have become pretty cool over the last few years
• 2 amazing sis-in-law's (they're cooler then my brothers. Haha)
• The ever endearing CG, DC, CJ, and (very newly born) EB
• My best friend being alive and well!!
• Zumba! Fun Latin/hip hop/dance workout. Yay for having fun while burning lots of calories!
• My roomies RubyRed & BrooklynCS. They've both been there for me this year as God is teaching me much while giving me brokenness. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders!
• Authentic friends that are as close as family.
• Not working retail on Black Friday!!!
• Church family that tag team you to convince you that you need to join them for Thanksgiving dinner (I prefer Thanksgiving alone, somehow it's less lonely, but I did cave at stopping by in the evening for dessert) 
• Books about string theory and God's existence. 
• RED shoes!!
• Mentoring relationships
• The smell of fresh cut grass in the summer
• Thanksgiving leftovers!! So much better on day's 2,3,4…
• Photography blogs. They help me dream of what I might be able to do when I someday own my very own DSLR camera. Someday….. *big dreamy sigh*
• Jeans day's at work!
• Shopping online and small boutiques for Christmas presents. It is so much better than the mad crush of shoppers.
• Our country's Military. Many are giving up their Thanksgiving with their families to keep our freedom. Have you thanked them lately?
• Coworkers that can make me laugh even on a Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (maybe I should move to Australia{how I hope you get that reference})
• The rain we had to deal with at the beginning of fall. The leaves have turned such beautiful colors this year!

I'm sure I could keep this list going on and on blog friends, but I'm going to stop right now.
 

I'd love to hear what you're thankful for this Thanksgiving, so comment away and let me know!

Wordless Wednesday: Thankful

Thank YOU!!

Today I want to tell you how thankful I am for you, my lovely blog readers! I don't know how many of you there are, I just know that I appreciate each and every one of you.

I like that I can be blunt on this blog, I like that I can put up photographs I've taken and share my ponderings with you. I hope you all enjoy reading my mishaps and poems and my lessons learned. I am thankful that I have this outlet available to me, that I am able to share my life with you…

I look forward to many more blogging years with you =o)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope you get to enjoy it with family, friends, and loved ones.

*hugs* to you

Joy

Thankful

This week in honor of Thanksgiving, my FAVORITE holiday, I am going to attempt to blog something I'm thankful for each day including the traditional list on Thanksgiving Day that I've done for the last couple of years (you can find them here and here).

Today I want to share with you how thankful I am for God's word; this year more than ever. I'm not perfect by any means, but I used to take it for granted and lately God has been reminding me of how important it is for me to read my Bible daily and to hide His word in my heart. I pray for you, my blog readers, that you know and follow this truth as well.

In honor of this, I'm going to share a list of truths about God's word for you to read from a sermon titled A Song of Trust in God's Word that I heard at my church on 11/15/09. You can listen to it HERE!! All of the verses referenced are from Psalm 119.

• God's word is a source of blessing v. 1
  
• God's word increases my love/passion for God v. 10-11
  
• God's word helps me overcome the world's rebukes & insults v. 19-23
  
• God's word encourages me in difficult times v. 25, 28
  
• God's word teaches me to focus on the eternal, not the temporary v. 36-37
  
• God's word gives me what to say v. 41-46
  
• God's word reminds me He will bring justice v. 52-53
  
• God's word brings me to repentance v. 59
  
• God's word teaches me God's sovereignty & purposes in affliction v. 71
  
• God's word shows me my need…Godly understanding v. 73, 75
  
• God's word teaches me longsuffering v. 81-84
  
• God's word brings hope v. 92-93
  
• God's word brings wisdom not based on age & life experiences v. 98-100
  
• God's word keeps me from foolishly falling into traps v. 105, 109-110
  
• God's word teaches me the fate of the wicked v. 119
  
• God's word teaches me dependency on Him v. 121-126
  
• God's word makes sense of life v. 130
  
• God's word teaches me biblical anger v. 139
  
• God's word makes prayer meaningful v. 145-148
  
• God's word teaches me He is the giver of eternal life v. 154, 156, 159
  
• God's word brings peace v. 165
  
• God's word teaches that He answers prayer v. 169-176

Why’d You Have to go and Make Things so Complicated

Do you ever wonder why people are afraid to pray in front of others? Do you notice it when you're out to eat with friends at a restaurant… do you play the "thumbs up" game to see who has to pray? Why don't we volunteer? What is it about speaking to our Savior that is so scary?

Is it us? Is it the people we're with? Do we think people are judging our words? Like what we say just isn't going to be good enough… Like we need to be the most eloquent of speakers for God to really hear us and listen? Or do we need to be eloquent for our friends to be o-so-impressed by us?

In the recent past, I rented You Can't Take it with You and was struck by the sincerity of the dinner prayers of the grandfather. He just talked to God:

Grandpa : [offering grace] Quiet, please, quiet! Well, sir, here we are again. We've had quite a time of it lately, but it seems that the worst of it is over. Course, the fireworks all blew up, but we can't very well blame that on you. Anyway, everything's turned out fine, as it usually does. Alice is going to marry Tony; Mr. Kirby, who's turned out to be a very good egg, sold us back our house - he'll probably forget all about big deals for a while. Nobody on our block has to move; and, with the right handling, I think we can even thaw out Mrs. Kirby here. We've all got our health; as far as anything else is concerned, we still leave that up to you. Thank you.

How incredibly simple is that!!

I hope you talk to God today. He wants to hear from you…

Wordless Wednesday

Be Joyful Always?

I always said that my verses I try to live by are 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Yesterday I failed miserably. I mean MISERABLY. Not that I'm ever perfect at it, but yesterday was the worst in a long time. You see, yesterday something happened that made me forget my joy. I forgot to pray. And I was most definitely not giving thanks. My whole perspective and life changed from trusting Christian girl to someone living in 'What If'.

I had the day off of work, so I tried to call my best friend to see if she had time to chat. She didn't pick up but called me back later. Here's how the conversation started… she asked me if I saw my e-mail and I told her I hadn't and she said, "well, I'm fine, but…". Now you know that is leading up to something. You see on Sunday, my BF was driving home to Iowa from a weekend in St. Louis (where she lived up until a month-ish ago). She had had a wedding shower and gotten to see some friends; well on the way back, her car hydroplaned. Then her car did some 360's. Then the rear of her car hit a rock wall. Then she flipped in the air. Then she landed upside down in a ditch.

She only lost her car… it would be a shock if it wasn't totaled, people had to dig around her through shattered glass to help her crawl out… she's only sore… with no broken bones… she didn't even lose a present from her shower. But for an hour or so… I lived in a place where I imagined losing my best friend (of 20+ years). For an hour or so, I cried. If I saw or talked to another friend, I lost it. And then I realized something. For an hour or so, I questioned God… I worried about losing my best friend and then I wondered something. If I had lost her? If that had happened? How would my view of God change in that moment? I allowed Satan to attack me in my moment of doubt. I didn't guard my heart against the attack of the enemy… and I was shaken. To my core I questioned. And then I heard that still small voice calling my name, and then I prayed. And there was peace. And then I could rejoice in the fact that my best friend was safe, and I could praise God for his faithfulness and thank him for her in my life…

I'm not saying I'm not still a little bit shaken, my faithful blog readers. But I am praising God today for the reminder of His sovereignty!

In Attempt

Wow, blog readers, you must be thinking there is something wrong with me. I mean three blogs in one week on three consecutive days? It's seemingly unheard of for this blog writer!!!

I'm trying to be more disciplined, I really am. Within my life and the things I do. I want to blog more often. I think part of the problem is that I feel like some of the things going on in my life are too personal and I don't know where to draw the blogging line. So I'm going to attempt. I literally checked and I have 7 different blogs queued up that I have started writing, and I need to finish/post them! I will… I mean it!! I really will!

You may have noticed yesterday that I started posting a Wordless Wednesday, and I intend to keep that up, but you and I all know that there will be weeks that only have Wordless Wednesday's!!

Bear with me, blogging friends, I'm attempting.

Wordless Wednesday

Touched Down in the Land of the Delta Blues

Saw the ghost of Elvis

On Union Avenue

Followed him up to the gates of Graceland

Then I watched him walk right through

Now security they did not see him

They just hovered 'round his tomb

But there's a pretty little thing

Waiting for the King

Down in the Jungle Room

Then I'm walking in Memphis

Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale

Walking in Memphis

But do I really feel the way I feel

Blog Hop: Fall

It has rained like CRAZY here in Tennessee. I don't know about you, or where you are reading this from, but we have had rain for weeks!! I know it's making everyone crazy, but now that it's finally stopping and the weather has hit that point of beautiful fall, I have been very much enjoying the leaves and all of the beautiful colors that God has given us. Here are a few pictures of nature that I've taken lately (although it's hard to choose favorites!) I hope you enjoy them too =o)

A puddle of leaves

berries turning color in the grass

crazy mushrooms from all the rain

fall through a peephole