I always said that my verses I try to live by are 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Yesterday I failed miserably. I mean MISERABLY. Not that I'm ever perfect at it, but yesterday was the worst in a long time. You see, yesterday something happened that made me forget my joy. I forgot to pray. And I was most definitely not giving thanks. My whole perspective and life changed from trusting Christian girl to someone living in 'What If'.
I had the day off of work, so I tried to call my best friend to see if she had time to chat. She didn't pick up but called me back later. Here's how the conversation started… she asked me if I saw my e-mail and I told her I hadn't and she said, "well, I'm fine, but…". Now you know that is leading up to something. You see on Sunday, my BF was driving home to Iowa from a weekend in St. Louis (where she lived up until a month-ish ago). She had had a wedding shower and gotten to see some friends; well on the way back, her car hydroplaned. Then her car did some 360's. Then the rear of her car hit a rock wall. Then she flipped in the air. Then she landed upside down in a ditch.
She only lost her car… it would be a shock if it wasn't totaled, people had to dig around her through shattered glass to help her crawl out… she's only sore… with no broken bones… she didn't even lose a present from her shower. But for an hour or so… I lived in a place where I imagined losing my best friend (of 20+ years). For an hour or so, I cried. If I saw or talked to another friend, I lost it. And then I realized something. For an hour or so, I questioned God… I worried about losing my best friend and then I wondered something. If I had lost her? If that had happened? How would my view of God change in that moment? I allowed Satan to attack me in my moment of doubt. I didn't guard my heart against the attack of the enemy… and I was shaken. To my core I questioned. And then I heard that still small voice calling my name, and then I prayed. And there was peace. And then I could rejoice in the fact that my best friend was safe, and I could praise God for his faithfulness and thank him for her in my life…
I'm not saying I'm not still a little bit shaken, my faithful blog readers. But I am praising God today for the reminder of His sovereignty!
4 comments:
As I read this Joy, I couldn't help but remember both Peter and Job. Satan asked God's permission to test them, and God allowed it. There is always a reason. Jesus told Peter, "Simon, Simon, look out! Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." I feel God has allowed Satan to whisper the "What If's" to you so that you will recognize and begin to answer some of these questions. Honestly, WHAT IF? Nothing drastic happened this time- praise God! Perhaps He is allowing you to enter into this realm so that you will learn a deeper dependence on Him. If something horrible had happened, God is still Holy and Just. It would have been the right thing, no matter how little sense it made to us. He has our days numbered, and there is no changing them. What a blessing that He is trusting you with this deeper level of love and trust in Him! Are we right to question? Never. But we always do. All of us. And He knows He must build us up slowly to lead and live powerful lives of testimony for Him. I am so grateful that your friend is OK; Miraculously so! But I am also grateful for the growing pains you are receiving. And doing well in acknowledging and handling I might add :) Love ya sis!
Thank you so much for your encouragements, Tiffany... you're such a blessing in my life. I am not used to feeling attacked all the time and I pray that I am able to be so used by God that I am worth the attacks...
I love you precious girl.
I just talked to Mrs. Eakley and she told me the story - praise the Lord Faith is alright! What an amazing protection of God she had over her!
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