Honey

It all started off innocently enough. Just like every other morning… After pushing snooze several times I woke up, took a shower, threw on some *ahem* undergarments and my robe and headed downstairs to have breakfast.

Yes. I am a total creature of habit.

Here's the breakfast routine: get out a bowl (preferably one of the blue ones), go to my cabinet, and grab whatever kind of organic cereal I happen to have that's open. It is 75% of the time organic cheerios. Pour cereal into the bowl, put box away, grab the Light Plain Soymilk (aka "soyjuice" haha) pour it on the cereal. Put the soymilk away and go to the hutch to grab the honey. [Nope, I don't put the honey on my cereal, but I do eat a little bit everyday so I can try to avoid allergy medication] Eat a spoonful of honey (I let my cereal soak up a little milk before I eat it) and, today, as I'm closing the lid and putting it on the counter…

***CRASH***

My over half-full mason jar of fresh, local, Gallatin made, farmers market purchased, honey fell and broke and leaked and oozed all over the floor.

So there I stand; staring at the floor. Wondering how/when/why on earth this jar slipped like that. Of course my next thought was, "oh man, I'm gonna have to clean this up!"

*sigh*

In case you ever were wondering the best way to clean up a huge honey spill, here goes…

1. Pull your trash can up really close to you.
   
2. Pick up the largest pieces of glass mason jar you can. Avoid touching the honey.
   
3. Try using the larger pieces of glass to pick up the medium sized pieces of glass. Avoid touching honey with anything other than your fingertips.
   
4. Realize that there are tiny pieces of glass within the honey while using the medium sized pieces of glass to try to pick up the smaller pieces. Avoid getting honey past the first knuckle of your fingers.
   
5. Allow the honey to get up to the second knuckle trying to scoop up the small pieces that wouldn't get picked up by the medium pieces. Avoid getting scraped up by the tiny glass pieces.
   
6. Grab handfuls of honey while avoiding getting scratched up by tiny pieces of glass. Avoid spreading the honey into a bigger puddle.
   
7. Realize that you're making the puddle of honey into a much larger puddle of honey. Decide to sit back and go ahead and wash your hands to see what to do next. Avoid using scalding hot tap water on the burn you got on your hand pulling pizza out of the oven.
   
8. Look around the kitchen and spot some cooking implements. Grab a spatula and spoonula. Avoid stepping in the sticky honey mess.
   
9. Use the spoonula to scoop up the honey while using the spatula to keep the excess from spilling even more on to the floor. Avoid strings on honey hanging off of the spoonula.
   
10. Once it is all cleaned up, get a towel and soak it with hot water. Avoid touching this to the previously mentioned burn.
    
11. Use the towel to wipe up all of the honey that is still sticking to the floor. Rinse out the towel.
    
12. Repeat as necessary.
    
13. When you are done with that, use the hot water towel one more time with some dish soap to make sure there is no sticky residue. That way you help to avoid bugs.
    
14. While you're on the floor, wipe the rest of the kitchen floor to pick up any excess glass that may still be on the floor. Avoid cutting your feet.
    

I then, of course, had to run upstairs throw on clothes and run out of the house in attempts to get to work on time… did my makeup at red lights and in the parking lot… I don't recommend dropping jars of honey.