Well, here it is Wednesday, and I’m at an office where the chances for complete boredom are at a very high percent. So, I thought for fun I would tell you all a story. A true story. A very humorous story. It’s about me. And, for the record, I am truly surprised that I haven’t told this to any of you yet since I found it really silly!!
It all begins last week Friday morning. I didn’t have to work until 10 at our Memorial branch, so I slept in (8:30!). Well, I was going into my bathroom to take a shower, and I realized that Lindy had someone with her in the living room (I found out later it was her case-worker). For some reason I don’t ever take my glasses with me off of my nightstand in the morning; so I’m pretty blind until I put my contacts in. Well, I’m in the shower, and I notice something bug-like on my shower curtain. Right on top of my shower curtain, so if I sprayed water at it, I’d have had to dry my whole bathroom… not an option in my book! Well, I’d only just started washing my hair, and I got freaked out. But Lindy has someone in the living room, and I need to go to work. So, I’m standing sideways in the shower washing my hair while staring at the very large looking bug thing thinking that I wish I’d had my glasses, contemplating lasik (which I can’t afford), and wondering why I don’t put in my contacts before I take a shower.
Let me tell you, that was the fastest shower I’ve ever taken… and I’ve taken some pretty quick showers!!!
Well, I’m trying to get out of the shower without jarring the bug-ish (still not knowing exactly what it is) and I turn the shower off with my foot (I’m good, I know) and get out the backwards way; at least in my normalcy. It means that I’m getting out of my shower and trying not to trip over my toilet or something like that. Keep in mind, while all of this is going on, I am still staring at the bug-like thing just waiting for it to move.
*Is it just me or do all girls have the paranoia that the bug will jump on them while they’re in the shower?*
So, I go over and put my contacts in, and look at the top of my shower curtain… I know, this where you’re thinking I’m going to say it wasn’t a bug at all; but something else entirely! But you’d be wrong. It was a bug!!! Heh heh… It’s a bug… with large antennae… ugh. So, here I am, standing in my bathroom wearing just a robe and a towel on my head, with Lindy and her case worker on the other side of my door and I have what I later learn is a cricket on the top edge of my shower curtain!!!
So, I did what any self-respecting girl would do. I grabbed my plunger and lightly tapped my shower curtain to see what it would do. Turns out, crickets jump when you tap your shower curtain with a plunger… just for future reference…
So, the cricket lands on the floor. Not knowing what exactly to do and realizing that I’m still holding a plunger like a baseball bat, I switch my hole to more of a two handed backhand in tennis, and start trying to beat the crap out of the cricket!! Man that thing could jump! I’d hit it, and it would go again… it even tried to get back up the shower curtain!!! *wham* jump, *wham* jump, *wham* jump… over and over again until I successfully kill the cricket.
After which, I had to walk out of the bathroom… past Lindy and her caseworker… so I could finish getting ready for work.
Do you think her caseworker thinks I need a caseworker??
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