I went to the coolest party ever on Saturday night!! It was totally awesome!! All of the biggest stars showed up!! We wanted to show our support for Hair Aid. It’s this gnarly fund raising concert event sponsored by Maqua Net Hairspray to raise some cash for research and development to totally design innovative ways to create bodaciously large hairstyles!! Fabulous, I know!
The party was held at the quaint home of our hostess Samantha Pinkman and her husband Peter Pinkman, scientist and famed ghost eliminator. We had some delicious cocktails (Shirley Temples) and got to mingle with all of the other famous people in attendance. Let’s see… there was the chairman of Hair Aid and Maqua Net CEO Biff Ewing; the Reverend James Cooker and his wife Glammy Ray; My best friend and pop singer, Gladonna. Break dancer Shaggy-Goo Oxide and his protégé Talex Towens (she’s narcoleptic); Atari Champion Buffy Bueller; Bobby Sue Petton the Olympic gold medalist who is a kleptomaniac and recently (as in that afternoon) stole my boyfriend, Moe Jontanna; which left me wide open to the annoying advances of Jeven Rearcie egotistical front man of a glam rock band; And of course, Mr. P (well known assassin) who we would fear to leave off the list of guests!
We realized early on in the night that everyone seemingly hated Moe. Which I loved, obviously; I mean he dumped me!! ME!!! Patty Plane!! He dumped Patty Plane!!! But even I was stunned when halfway through the evening Moe was murdered!! He was literally gagged with a spoon! It was horrible! And we had no idea who did it! I mean, like, even though I hated him, I didn’t kill him! And I know Gladonna has some assassins on her staff, but when she was saying that someone was terminated it was a member of her staff that made a mistake. But everyone had reasons of their own and just wanted Moe gone!! The one person no one expected is that it would be Samantha that killed him! I guess it’s always the quiet ones that you don’t expect. All she did was play with that annoying Rubik’s Cube all the time… it was really weird… Anyway, she did it, and accidentally left her freaky cube right next to his body!!
And poor Talex, with her narcolepsy problem, she didn’t even know if she did it or not! I mean, they were in the other room and she dropped in the middle of her break dancing and then he was killed! It’s a good thing Samantha admitted to the murder… people already blamed Talex as it was!
I bet I could use this party (and my heartbreak) to write a totally awesome song for me and my band the Brown Livers!!
Enjoy some photos from the paparazzi: