My Heart Aches

I don't talk about adoption a lot here... I know I've mentioned it a few times here and there over the last couple of years, but adoption is something that God has given me a heart for.

For children that will be adopted and their families who can't wait to be together with them and for the people that will support those families (weather financially or prayerfully or however).

Today my heart aches. I woke up to read the news that Russian President Vladimir Putin has signed a bill into law that bans American families from adopting from Russia. I can't imagine the pain and the hurt that families are feeling, especially the families that have already met their sons and daughters and may not be able to bring them home. Sitting here typing this I am crying for them... and for those babies and children that are in those overcrowded orphanages...

I am only comforted by the fact that in all of this God will shine through. He protects the fatherless. He is over all and He will prevail. He will never leave us.

I have no more words..............

Merry Christmas!

I'm working on Christmas blog posts, although I'm thinking about doing them for the traditional 12 Days of Christmas and that doesn't actually start until Christmas... maybe not... we'll see =o)

I also have some real things on my mind and I want to get them out there. I want to see what could happen with these thoughts...

You see, for some reason I'm feeling very pulled towards outward thinking. About people who need more than I do. I know that I've been referred to as a bit of a "bah humbug" when I say that I don't really want presents, but I don't really always feel like I need "things". I find myself more and more giving things away to Goodwill (although I'm thinking I might start using Salvation Army instead very soon...) and wanting to donate and give things to people who need them more than I do.

I suppose part of it is thinking more globally... Friends and I are making gifts for each other, but if we weren't I probably would have donated to an organization like Heifer International in their names... For others, my favorite place to shop is a store called Philanthropy, at least 10% of their profits (generally more) go back to organizations in TN and around the world; they also sell some products made my people in the Sudan or elsewhere to help them make a living.

I don't know what to do with this desire I have... I'm talking to a friend about having "parties", although really just get togethers with friends to raise money or canned goods or......... something.............

All that being said... I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. That you enjoy celebrating the birth of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the new life I have and that He gives me the desire to help others and bring them this wonderful news of eternity.

Pray for me... I think there's going to be a lot going on for me in 2013... 

Thanksgiving

I have no list this year... I didn't think about it long enough or soon enough.

I'm thankful for God and for my new church and dear friends... but this year I'm most thankful for getting to spend Thanksgiving with my parents!

Every other year my parents come to TN for Thanksgiving to see me and we cook and eat and stuff, but it's not about food.. it's about time spent with my parents. It's about hugs and laughter and helping them figure out things on their iPad; it's about playing Gin Rummy and Pinochle (competitively) and taking walks... but mostly it's about time.

I love my parents and I love that they love me so much they come here so I'm not without family every Thanksgiving.

I hope that you, blogging friends, are equally as blessed as I am.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sometimes I Wish

... I was home in Chicago
... I could hug my parents whenever I wanted
... I could be at all of my niece and nephews birthday parties
... I could read the kiddos stories instead of sending books with my recorded voice
... hair could grow long one day and be short the next
... I could have girls days with my SIL's
... weight would just drop off instead of being hard work
... I could pull all-nighters like I used to (not it takes days to get back to normal)
... I could hang out with the guys more than a couple of times a year
... I could get together time and monies to go to Iowa to visit my BF and her hubby and soon to be 2 kids

But I'm also thankful that my life isn't perfect, that I'm not all smiles and happiness all the time. That I have to fight for want I want of need or love. Because all of that together causes me to rely on God. I look to Him when I'm lonely and bummed, when I'm wishing to be home...

I know that God is not physically here, but I've definitely felt His arms around me.

I'm so thankful for the hard times.

Election

Today is Election Day in America. 2012. I hope you're informed. I hope you vote. I don't care who you vote for, but I hope you care. More importantly, I hope you're praying for whomever it is that ends up as the head of this country.

I normally spend the evening of the election glued to the tv watching pundits and color commentary about what is happening. I remember 8 years ago staying up until about 3 am waiting to see the outcome... maybe I'll so that tonight too... but I'll start much later than I usually do... my friend R and I are going to the Restored Theatre in Downtown Franklin, TN to watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Frank Capra directing Jimmy Stewart (the same duo from It's a Wonderful Life) I'll tell you one thing... If Mr. Jefferson Smith was alive and running for office today, he'd have my vote.

Eight

Eight years and three presidential elections. That's how long I've been in TN. In that time, there are a few things that stand out.

1. I find myself having a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I see updates in social media. I'm glad you feel the way you do; I'm glad you've made intelligent reasoning behind your decision. I just wish you were less of a jerk when presenting your decision to the rest of the world. People's emotions are tied way too strongly to this election. Name calling is even more than 4 years ago and I wish I could hide under a rock until it was over. As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for the Frankenstorm I would be avoiding social networking sites altogether.

2. Voting is important! I've felt this way since before I could vote thanks to my favorite Social Studies teacher from Middle School. I still remember going to the election polling area in our school and learning about the process; and having a faux private poll in our class for president (Bill Clinton vs. George HW Bush vs. Ross Perot).

Since then and since I moved to TN, I've been to Boston and Faneuil Hall. There women met and had meetings and fought so I can vote. Somehow sitting in the same seats as those wonderful women of my history made the fact that I can vote become the fact that I should and will vote. Its a right that I wouldn't have had less than 100 years ago.

3. Everyone is early voting this year. I hope that means even more people are voting and I hope even more that those voting are informed about their choices. Since moving to TN, I have never waited more than 5 minutes in a polling line until Tuesday morning when I early voted. I thought I was good giving myself an extra 20 minutes to vote before work… I was 10 minutes late getting there (& I work 2 minutes from our election commission).

All that being said, the pastor of my former church blogged about His Presidential Predictions and I couldn't agree more. God already knows who will win the election and has since before the beginning of time. My trust is in Him & I pray even now for whomever will be in this place of authority in this country.

I Struggle

I struggle with how honest I can be here. How much I can share. How much I might hurt someone's feelings or make them angry or upset... What's the rule? Where's the line?

When do I stop trying to make people happy?

I feel like I've upset several people over the last month and my God-serving self is at war with my Humanity-serving self.

Do what the Holy Spirit is leading you to do, but don't upset anyone else while you're doing it.

Keep it quiet.

sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

They might get upset.....

Even now I'm fighting my desire to delete every single thing I've written so far. Maybe I won't even post this. Maybe I will........... *sigh*

I have struggled at my church for a while now... like a couple of years, not a couple of weeks... and due to some circumstances, I spent a few weekd focusing on God's will in my life fasting and praying and trying to seek His leading for my life.

I'm leaving that church. I've known for a couple of months, but wanted to be able to share with others so that no one found out here. It has nothing to do with anyone specifically, it's the Holy Spirit leading. At first I had no idea where I would go or where my future would be, but I learned more and more about the Harvest Nashville church plant. Harvest is the church I went to in the Chicagoland area and I'm blessed to say I'm a part of this core group of people launching in Nashville.

God is doing so much and desiring much for Nashville, it's almost palpable!! The more I'm able to be involved and the more I contribute, the more excited I get!

I apologize for hurt feelings, or anything taken other than intended, but I refuse to apologize for following the will of God in my life.

Labor Day

Plans? What are yours?

Grilling out and friends and family? tell me, tell me =o)

I have a list... it's numbered C =o)

1. Boot Camp- today was my first day back in 3 weeks! (check)
2. Sit with an ice pack on my back for a bit while watching Doctor Who and uploading CD's on the new laptop. (check, check, check)
3. Clean! Bedroom, bathroom...  (I'm blogging to avoid starting)
4. Shower and make myself "out with friends" cute.
5. Dinner with my Cousin and her boyfriend and a friend of theirs.
6. Home, veg out, sleep.....

And now that I've finished typing this... *sigh*... time to clean...

I'm Starting a Fund....

It's going to be called:

Massage Makes Joy's Back Feel AWESOME!

Who wants to donate? =oD

My back in still twingy... I'm still dealing with it through anti-inflammatories... and heating pads... and occasionally ice packs... but at the beginning fo the month before all of this craziness went down, I signed up for a 20 minute chair massage for today at work (because my company is awesome and it's pretty cheap).

I admit to being a little trepidatious as I walked across the street for the massage, but I had talked to my friend the massage therapist about my back when this all went down a couple of weeks ago, so I figured she'd understand if I needed to quit.

Didn't need to... as a matter of fact for the first time in almost 3 weeks I stood up and walked around like nothing was wrong!

By the time I got back to my desk things got a little bit slightly twingy again, but I'm feeling o-so-much better than I was a couple of hours ago.....

Who wants to donate? I think an hour a day until my back is all better sounds good ;o)

Going Through E-mails

I was scrolling through my email folders and stumbled across one I forgot about simply titled "worship". Curious, I opened it to find 1 email I had saved from November 2008. It seems that I had typed out and emailed myself songs that we sand in youth group...

This was one of my favorites:

     Messiah
     you are the giver of life
     you are the river running deep in my soul
     my desire
     fill me til I overflow

     each morning you're the brightest
     star shining in the highest
     heaven above -- creator of all I see
     and you love me

     each noonday youre the cool breeze
     that whispers through the shade trees
     touching my face -- your grace like a melody
     refreshes me

     each evening youre the sunset
     that paints a dark shilouette
     stroke of a brush -- a hush and the world lies still
     a quite thrill

Wordless Wednesday

Working...

I'm working on a couple of blog posts... you know, the kind that touch me deep at heart and are really part of the reason I haven't blogged much lately. I've had a lot going on that I didn't feel I could quite yet share.

So I might be somewhat radio silent this week... Perhaps I'll put up some photos (now that I have a faster 'puter I'm able to edit some of the photos I've been putting off).

But next week, we'll get real again... after I have a few conversations... after I send a few e-mails... after I make sure the people who should find things out from me and not my blog find out from me.

That all sounded SO ominous! hahaha... rest assured it's not =o)

I'll leave you with a photo for today...

Wordless Wednesday

Have I Mentioned?

That these meds keep me WIDE AWAKE late at night?

Because they do... it's almost 1:30 in the morning and I'm not even close to tired... but you'd know I was sleepy if you could see how often I'm correcting my typing!

I'm working my way through AFI's top 100 Movie (original list) and I have one of the movies I'm not really interested in playing in the background right now. It's my second movie of the night and with the was I'm feeling, there could possibly be a third.

*sigh*

Work is going to be tough tomorrow...

I Feel

-calm but excited...
-nervous but intrigued…
-sad but motivated…
-anxious but calm…

There is so much going on in my brain that I can't actually seem to focus on any one piece of it at a time.

I hurt my back last Monday and I'm so angry and frustrated over it but at the same time God is opening up this door for new possibilities in my future and I don't think my brain can actually wrap around what can happen.

At the same time I can't help but think about it… to pray that I do a good job listening to Him and not just trying to do for me.

And I know none of this really makes any sense at all unless you're one if the like 5 people who know all if the truth that I'm just not ready to put out for the world yet; but I'm on these meds for my back and they make it so hard to sleep so I somehow find myself here and I'm confusingly rambling and I'm sorry for the crazy stuff coming from my fingertips I promise I'll explain what I can when I can if I can maybe someday when I'm making more sense…

This Is How I Die

Death by Civil War Reenactment.



A couple of weeks ago my friend R and I went to the Farmer's Market by the Courthouse on the downtown square of the town I live in. We were surprised as we walked from where we parked... there was gunfire... musket fire? What???

Random Civil War reenactment! The very first that I've been to where people "die"!! I was SO excited... so here's the abbreviated story of this battle according to my friend R:

Apparently the Northern troops at some point had captured and set up a base in the courthouse... then the Southern troops came and took it back. 3 days later, the Northern troops came back and took it for the rest of the war.

However.... the reenactment stopped after the Southern troops took it back (the south will rise again?) and I may have quietly whispered "don't worry boys, we come back to win this whole thing" and maybe my friend R started trying to teach me to properly say "y'all" because right around the time the northern troops were "captured" random people in the crowd who were not participants in the reenactment started yelling "Kill the Yankees!!", "Shoot 'Em!!", "Shoot the Yankees!!". Also there was this particular gentleman reenacting General Nathan Forrest Bedford.....

They wanted us gone. Want us gone?

Death by reenactment...

Royalty

I'm laying in bed right now too awake to sleep but too tired to do much else. My sleep playlist is on my iPod and I'm yawning like crazy.

Tonight I saw American film royalty. There's no other way to describe it. I went with my fried R to TPAC to see a very brand new musical called The Nutty Professor. It was fantastic! The music was great, the cast phenomenal… the set design was gorgeous.

Today was the 8th time it was ever performed (although it will be heading to Broadway in the future.

The show is based off of a 1963 movie with Jerry Lewis, and Jerry Lewis directed this musical. And today after the bows from the cast and the applause and cheering from the audience, JERRY LEWIS WALKED ONTO THE STAGE!!!!!!

I think I'm still a bit in shock.

He was… is… more impressive and genuine and funny than any trendy popular current actor.

Yes. Just Yes.

I don't often like to just give you guya a link to another blog. But today I just have to. I read this this morning and it spoke so true to my life. To my soul...

Being single in church............ read this....

Old Friends..

Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly...

My roommate is, I think, confused by my love of Simon and Garfunkel music. But with lyrics like that, can you blame me? It's like cleverly written movies. I love the beauty in the finely crafted words.

And after writing that sentence I'm still going to try to blog? *yikes* This blog, I'm sure, will be nowhere near as well written and put together as Simon and Garfunkel songs or Alfred Hitchcock movies. But I will still try:

I can't believe, dear friends, that I neglected you for almost whole month. I'm so sorry. I just looked and realized that I haven't blogged here since June 27th! Wow. I kept on "meaning" to and then continued on with my life. I'm not proud of me, but I have been living more. Doing more. Attempting to do more for me or because of me... and maybe failing at it less? Maybe... Maybe I just think I am.

I'm going to boot camp 3 days a week and getting the courage up to go outside and walk/run. I'm going to our town Farmer's Market when I'm able to and working on making smart choices when I grocery shop. I haven't seen many of my friends as often as I like, but I'm comfortable in the fact that I'm an adult and don't have to cram in all of my "friend" time together in the summer months.

Sometimes I miss those easy summers......

Wordless Wednesday

They Say Its My Birthday

Happy Birthday, Joy!

It's been a wild year full of memories and family and friends and fun and sadness all mingled in together to create a beautiful tapestry of life.

I hope you remember this year. All of it. Well, at least the highlights. Your sadness in the loss of someone dear to you, your joy in time spent with the ones you love. I know you're not exactly where you thought you'd be in life at 32, but remember... this is God's perfect for you. He is changing you and growing you and moving you forward to become who He ultimately wants you to be. You will always be changing and growing; and with everything He is showing you, you know that change will be happening again sooner than you thought. Where will you be in 6 months? I mean probably TN, but otherwise... where will God make a place for you?

I know you have all kinds of questions in all of these things, but you should know that no matter what happens God is still in control (if you let Him be! Stop trying to take the reigns!). He knows that while you have two "homes" here on Earth, your real Home is in Heaven with Him and that means that all of this prodding and changing is worth it. even the uncomfortable things.

This past year you've seen another cousin have a beautiful wedding and you went to the Nashville Zoo with your nephew. You watched your SIL J drink sweet tea like a pro and had a sleepover with CG. Your friends, near and far, showed you how much they support you no matter where you are. You got to go with your parents to see one of the battlefields where your Great Great Grandpa fought in the Civil War. You starting having good conversations with your brothers who you love even though you don't really say it enough and got countless hugs and kisses from your niece and nephews.

You taught 2/3's in Life Group at church with PC and loved every minute. Even when you had a migraine you loved hearing those little voices praise God and love their friends, LOUDLY! Your future there might still be a little unknown, but you know that Third Baptist Church was the first place you felt at home in TN. For certain, you know that you will miss those sweet little faces that get so excited to see you on Sunday mornings. You don't see all of your TN friends very often, your work schedule is a little crazy compared to theirs, but that has made the times spent together all the more precious.

You had an awesome conversation about fellowship and community and hardships in your life, how God is moving you, with "the guys" at G's and felt refreshed for the first time in months. You were reminded what true community and fellowship looked like around a blazing fire in the beginning of June.

You started being proactive for the first time in a very long time about your health and you started losing weight. You joined a boot camp at 5:40 in the morning! Who does that! It's SO early!! But you love it. You like having a trainer to ask questions of and to push you. You like the motivation of competition and seeing others around you do better than you because you want to do better too. You like that people notice when you're not there and call you or text you or email you or facebook you to keep you accountable; it's good to know that you're noticed and cared about.

Oh, Joy... what does the future hold? I know you don't know, but I do know that you're excited about it... that you're looking forward to seeing where God takes you in the future and to see what He holds in store.

Happy Birthday, Joy, this year is going to be AWESOME!

Love,
You.

Wordless Wesnesday

I Figured

I figured.

Two very small words that don't often mean very much. Just a mini figure of speech. Really… I wonder how many times I've uttered that statement; even out of disgust.

This week. This week it was a phrase that made me smile. It gave me joy. This week it was used as an affirmation towards me and I really appreciated it… appreciate it.

I'm house sitting this week in a house that's for sale (it brings back memories). Sunday it had a showing. I had to be out so they could be in. No big deal really. I got a text from the realtor and confirmed right before I went in to church that morning. When I left church I had a voicemail; my coworker making sure I had gotten the text from their realtor. I responded something like this:

Hey! Sorry I was at church when you called and my phone was off… (blah blah blah).

The response?

figured you would be (…)

She figured…

I like that I'm known for being a Christ follower.

Silent Saturday?

Today I Work

Outside the weather is beautiful. About 85 degrees, a few clouds in the sky. Maybe a little more humidity than we like, but from the inside looking out, it's fantastic.

I'm at work.

Just down the street from my office, there's a Saturday Farmer's Market open and, by the number of cars around, thriving. It's so fun to be there and people watch and smell the fresh produce in the air. You can get heirloom tomatoes and peppers, organic freshly ground wheat flour ground in a few different ways depending on your baking needs. Flowers and baked goods.

It's a community event and its so fun to be at and people watch and take photos at... I can't wait to go this year! It's only been open for two weeks, but I haven't yet been able to be there.

Instead I work. Thinking about walking around our cute little square and looking at the pretty things all in a row.

Wordless Wednesday

A Real Vacation

Yesterday I returned to my TN home from a trip to my IL home. A trip in which pretty much only my family  knew I would be home... a week. A whole week to recharge and rest. The week before I left I had several friends and coworkers here in TN tell me "don't overschedule yourself", "try to relax", and "make sure you take time for yourself"! They know me well.

It's not uncommon for me to go home and plan my days and nights away seeing as many people as I can for lunches and dinners and coffees and in betweens; I miss friends that I haven't been able to see in years because of my own craziness and busy-ness. But this trip, I tried to not let that bother me. I tried to relax. I did relax (mostly!).

I went to my cousin's wedding in MI. I spent time with my brothers and their kids. I saw my brothers new digs. I washed and waxed my car with my dad. I went to Caribou multiple times. I went to Blicks for some new art supplies. I had Chipotle with my parents. I went to church twice at Harvest Bible Chapel. I grilled out and fellowshipped with the 5 people who aren't family that knew I was coming (but really they're like family...).

That's it. I vacationed for 9 days and that was all. I spent a couple of days doing almost nothing for a long time... I came home to TN relaxed and laughing in my head at things said and done, but mostly feeling truly rested and restored for the first time in as long as I can remember.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul."

Psalm 23:2-3a

Making a Playlist

I'm a music junkie... I would probably be a music hoarder if it wasn't for the fact that I can keep all of my music digitally filed on one little device. Yay for iPod's!

This week, on my lunch breaks at work (when we took them) I worked on going through all of my music... don't ask how much... to make a road trip play list. This time the play list is titled Homeward Bound (and it naturally starts with Homeward Bound by Simon and Garfunkel). It's fun making a play list and hard. You have to try to decide what kind of music will fit your mood or will have the right beat... I was looking for "fun to sing along with" more than anything. And I realized something.......

So many of the songs that I love to sing along with... so many songs I know are only because of my friends. Friends from both my IL and TN homes. I'm so happy that I know these people. That they are a part of my life. That I have friends who not only enrich my life musically, but who have themselves become a part of the soundtrack of my life.

I am so blessed.

Today I Am Thankful

that God's mercies are new every morning.

for my comfortable new Teva's that I'm wearing to work.

for fun bubbles and an inflatable guitar from my boss to make work more fun.

for pigtails being an acceptable way to keep my hair out of my face in our department.

for a headset to wear while on the phone that prevents me from getting a crik in my neck.

for vacation that starts in less than 3 days.

for time last night spent with great friends.

for time tonight with my roommate and KJ watching the Revenge season finale.

for coworkers that help make work fun.

for stressful days at work that equal job security.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Elementary School Lunches

My coworker just heated up her Jenny Craig lunch. It's pizza. Fake cheese, fake meat, funny looking crust... but it smells just like school pizza lunch from grade school.

Remember that? Friday's were normally pizza day and my mom usually made our lunches, but sometimes on Friday we could get school lunch. The whole cafeteria was permeated with the slightly almost Italian smell of the sauce and I'm sure it didn't even really taste good (even though I remember it being delicious!).

But when my coworker brings in the occasional Jenny Craig pizza...... *sigh*

Best Smell Ever.

Wordless Wednesday

An Unedited Photo Drive

(from the passanger side of the car)

O How He Loves Us

There's a song sung by David Crowder Band called How He Loves. I think it's the theme of my (our?) Easter weekend. I spent a lot of it with a combination of a group of people at multiple services. From my church's Good Friday Tenebrae service to the 2 Easter services I went to...How beautiful a story of Redemption, of Grace, of The Gospel. Tears flowed freely this weekend and I'm still processing... But I knew I wanted to and needed to and had to share this song with you. I find myself listening to it on repeat today. I admit, I've had the album of this song and heard it for the first time months ago. This weekend it means so, so much more...

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realise just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

So Heaven meets earth like a unforseen kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don't have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way...

He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Oh how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves.

Whoa! how He loves us.

Whoa! how He loves us.

Whoa! how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves.

i think i could fit change purses in the bags under my eyes

alternate title: Sometimes I Wonder What My Apartment Looks Like During the Day

Remember how I talked about how I used to be spontaneous? How I've been overbooked and wanting to sleep?

I've thought about going to bed when I get home tonight............................

Post 501: Watch Me

Want to Throw a Dinner Party?

Check out my guest post at Behind Closed Drawers!

Surprise! It was a 2 day post! Here's Day 2 =o)

Spontaneity

I used to be spontaneous. Used to be.

Where did it go?

I used to love it when last minute, friends would call or text to randomly go somewhere or meet up.

Lately I find myself planning my weeks and they seem so busy that I don't want to try to fit anything else into my plans.. into life. I want to go home after work and be a bum when I don't already have plans (which seems like never, now-a-days).

I'm thinking about applying the 'dating rule' of saying no when its last minute plans.

What do you think?



*really, I want to get to a point where I love being spontaneous again, but I don't think it'll happen.

Lent

I've been following the practices of lent for a few years now... it was something I felt (feel) pretty strongly about and this year it seems that I know a lot of people that are observing lent and services and practices(?) prior to Easter. It's been interesting talking to others about Easter and Lent, to be able to be extremely open about the Gospel and Easter and what it means. To talk to people about why I observe it....

I read these blogs lately and wanted to share them.

http://mikedcosper.com/2012/02/22/ash-wednesday-criticism-and-the-fear-of-death/
http://daniel-montgomery-sojourn.com/lent-love-it-or-leave-it/#comments

What do you think of lent? I really want to know...

Beam Me Up Scotty

Thoughts on a Sunday

This morning it was raining. A lot. It eventually turned into snow, but while I was getting ready to go to church, the rain was coming down.

It reminded me of a book I got for Christmas a few years ago. Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. It's an allegory similar to Pilgrims Progress, following the story of Much-Afraid in her journey of life and faith and learning to trust the Shepherd with her life.

There's a part of the story where Much-Afraid is traveling on a mountain near a waterfall and she sees the drops of water hurtling themselves from the top of the falls onto the rocks below. It looks terrible. Awful. Painful. But the closer she gets, the more she hears the drops; and they're singing.

"Come, oh come- let us away,
Lower, lower every day,
Oh, joy it is to race
Down to find the lowest place.
This is the dearest law we know -
It is happy to go low.
Sweetest urge and sweetest will,
Let us go down lower still.

Hear the summons night and day
Calling us to come away.
From the heights we leap and flow
To the valleys down below.
Always answering to the call,
To the lowest place of all.
Sweetest urge and sweetest pain,
To go low and rise again."
-----------

I wonder what the rain was singing today while I was getting ready for church; or what the snow sang as it gently fell to the ground while my pastor challenged us with the Word of God…

(Luke 19:40)

Hello Valentine

                                                                                                                                                                          

Tiny bubbles (tiny bubbles)

Make me warn all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time

So here's to the golden moon
And here's to the silver sea
And mostly here's a toast
To you and me


(Tiny Bubbles by Don Ho)

Finally (aka Confessions of a [former] Messaholic)

Confession #1: I used to never care about cleaning. Much to the chagrin of my parents it was, I'm sure, very difficult to get me to clean up my bedroom. Clothes (clean and dirty), papers, books, you name it and it probably lived on my floor, until I was made to put it elsewhere. I firmly believed that there was no point in making my bed since it would only get messed up at night. It couldn't have been fun to deal with (sorry Mom & Dad!).

Confession #2: Mess, now, stresses me out. I'm ok with a little 5% mess (clutter?), but really thats only because I generally know that most of it goes! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Type A OCD crazed cleaner, but I've learned that I like organized. I like neat. I crave it… if my home/work space are at least mostly organized, I'm more at peace and able to focus on more important things.

I moved into my current apartment Labor Day weekend. 153 days ago, to be exact.

I finally finished unpacking, cleaning, & organizing this past weekend. 5 months. Its ridiculous, really, it is. I know this.

But its done!!

Well, 95% done, but I'll take it!

—--—--—--—--—--—





Confession #3: I still rarely make my bed. Only if I just washed my sheets (and even then…)…

Found!

My favorite pen! I was so excited when I found it while digging through a box of random craft supplies this week. I even found the extra ink refills!!!

Silly, I know… but I think my handwriting looks so good when I use it =o) I got the pen from my job back in Chi and its the fanciest pen I've ever had.

Isn't my penmanship prettier? (humor me)

Missing

If I were to choose a least favorite month, January would be it. Its hard and stressful, work becomes extremely busy for at least the first two weeks and even more, I really miss my family.

It probably shouldn't be that bad. After all I just went to Chicago for 10 days at Christmas… how bad could it be?

Bad.

There are young kids in my family and I love getting to sit to dinner with my parents; my sis-in-laws are amazing and now that we're "grown ups" my brothers and I have actual conversations about life. And getting to be there, getting to spend time there… it was 10 days! Life starts to become normal (minus my not going to work, ha!) babysitting with my parents and getting to meet up with a few friends somewhat randomly. No planning a month ahead of time, trying to fit in plans 15 minutes at a time… just living life.

I felt so blessed getting to spend time with people who have known me for more than a decade of my life, people who get past the surface level of me easily. People who call me out when I'm being ridiculous and talk with me about life and community and the need for depth…

January stings. Its a daily reminder of missing people that I love.

2012

... and a new second blog!

I'm shutting down my former 365 blog since I'm done with my 365 challenge and it won't be available any longer.

what will be available?

Losing It

My attempt at being transparent and therefore more accountable about losing weight.

Read it if you want to.

I'll be back on here too, about the rest of my life... soon...

I promise!